Breakfast - BIG Bowl of Frosties
Lunch - 1 Slice of Bread with Ham and Mustard, 1 Slice with Jam, 2 pots of Fromage Frai, Apple
Dinner - Chicken Curry and Rice
2 Bottles of Katy Cider plus a 1/2 Cider with Ginger
Snack - BIG Bag of Walkers Crisps plus a Bar of Dairy Milk
May not be the best intake, but this evening has been the best and that dairy milk was perfect!
Mum didn’t even say thank you…
When I got home from work today she asked me what I’d done all day, I replied that I had spent the day tidying pretty much. She retorted ‘See, it’s hard work isn’t it? What have you done anyway?’. She probably doesn’t mean it to sound the way I take it, but I am continuously sensitive to every one of her comments. It feels like a slight dig… Same with Dinner, I called to say I was dishing up and Mum came out as I was putting out the Rice, ‘Is that all the Rice you’ve done?,’ she remarked, implying that I hadn’t made enough. I told her that I weighed it out, just over enough for 5 people to ensure there was enough for 4 and then she had the cheek to ask me what I weighed it in saying ‘Did you make sure you weighed the bowl first?’. I’m sorry?!! Turns out there was plenty of Rice, I served myself a bit of a smaller portion because I don’t really like it much (it just tastes like mush to me, maybe we overcook it? Or maybe that’s just how Basmati is? I don’t know), but even so there was nothing wrong with everyone’s portions. And to make it even more infuriating she made a comment as to why I served it in bowls as opposed to a plate. Geez.
Sorry, I know I’m just having a petty moan, but I just had to get it out rather than us having a bad atmosphere at home. I’m going out shortly anyway to meet up with ruthiend again. She’s going to (re)introduce me to Cider!!! I can’t bloody wait :D
I did it!!! And the kettle was boiling just as she walked through the door. Mission accomplished!
Seeing people’s University posts makes me feel both happy and sad. It’s times like this when I wish I could be back in that kind if setting again. Living with people that I love, away from home, independent, studying something that I love, doing it day in and day out.
Breakfast - 1.5 Sausage, Egg and Bacon Muffins with Ketchup
Snack - 3 Savoury Snack Eggs, Packet of Crisps
Dinner - Roast Pork, 2 Roast Potatoes, Broccoli, Cauli, Carrots, Peas, Gravy and Apple Sauce plus 2 or 3 glasses of bubbly Wine
Dessert - 5 Fruit Shorties
Snack - Pouch of Minstrels
Now I’m feeling iffy about the Chocolate because I knew that I wasn’t hungry for the full bag. I’d eaten 15-20 and that was enough, but I got carried away and I ate the lot. BUT I know that normal people eat a whole pack of Sweeties in one sitting sometimes, like when Mum eats a box of Malteasers, or my Sister eats a BIG bag of Quavers, or my Stepdad eats several Donuts and that is what I’m telling myself. Today was normal. Normal is bloody brilliant.
Since I’ve been discharged I’ve put on maybe 5-6lb and I haven’t actually freaked too much because I was trying to tap into my rational brain that told me I have taken an even bigger leap in regards to freedom over food and eating what I want therefore it was pretty much expected that my weight may have shifted a bit. However, this yesterday morning I wore my Mom jeans and they felt tighter on my thighs and it scared me a bit. I don’t really know why I’m writing this. I think I just needed to get it out.
So refreshingly NORMAL!!! Party food does not have to be scary!
Breakfast - Big Porridge Sachet and an Apple
'Lunch' - 3 Chunks of Wrap, 4 Mini Spring Rolls, at least 2 Garlic Crispy Breads, 3 Satay Chicken Sticks, 2 Slices of Baguette plus a few more bits that I don't really remember.
Snack - A little Piece of Cake
'Dinner' - A Chunk of Baguette with Garlic Pate, 5 Black Pepper Crackers and another Garlic Crispy Bread.
I also drank a whole Bottle of Wine :P
Life is about so much more than food and calories and exercise and any disordered behaviour and YOU are worth so much more than that - your purpose in life is to grow, not shrink.